British Mirpuri marriage habits are slowly but surely beginning to change. For a while, it was ‘customary’ to marry first cousins based in Mirpur. Now though this custom has always been fairly common in Mirpur, I believe it increased during the 1980s and 1990s, mainly as a convenient way of avoiding the end of primary immigration. Why do I say this? Because in many cases, where both a male and female first cousin, of similar age, are Mirpur based, the respective families would endeavour to find a suitable partners from the UK, even if they are not first cousins. In other words, the aim of sending ones son or daughter is stronger than the ‘custom’ of cousin marriage.
Now all this is beginning to change. Any minority culture can only remain insulated from the influences of the majority culture for so long. The change is being led by young people themselves, who are demanding a greater a say in who, and indeed if, they marry. Many parents are also beginning to change. Whereas previously the minimum condition was that any potential marriage partner should hail from the Mirpur district and be of the same caste, now any British Pakistani Muslim will do.
There is rumour in the Mirpuri community that the rules on bringing partners over will be tightened, perhaps with age/ language restrictions, or a re-introduction of the dreaded ‘primary purpose’ rule, where the onus was on the parties to a marriage to prove that the primary purpose was marriage and not the chance to enter the UK. It meant many people, in perfectly happy marriages, had to go through years of appeals and re-appeals before their partners could join them.
I am not sure if changing the law is the best way forward. There are cultural and social issues, which change with the times. Already things are beginning to change, even though rules have been relaxed since 1997. Over time, things will have to change completely. It is better that change occurs through cultural evolution, than through the force of the law.
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