Some words are inordinately difficult to translate into another language. This is because they carry a cultural baggage that cannot easily be conveyed outside that culture. ‘Mangether’ is such as a word.
The word literally means ‘fiancée’. It is still used to mean this among the more educated, Urdu speaking elite in Pakistan. For British Mirpuris, the word has taken on a new meaning. Some explanation is called for.
Among British Mirpuris, the term refers to husbands brought over from Pakistan by girls born and bred in the UK, normally as a result of an arranged marriage. The ‘mangether’, unable to speak English and without any other prior link to the UK, is thrown into an alien culture and initially at least, lives with the entire family of the girl. The foibles of the ‘mangether’ may embarrass his hosts, particularly young people. Think of the wretched character in ‘Yasmin’, who keeps a goat in the front garden. Mangethers do not keep goats as pets. More often it is their sartorial preference, and inability to speak English, that stands them out.
The word also has connotations of obsequiousness- he is totally reliant on the girl and her family. If he harbours hopes of obtaining permanent leave to remain and eventually a British passport, he knows what is good for him. He is normally keen to make sure that any assertion of independence does not clash with the interests of the host family. If it does, he better pack his bags and catch the next plane back. If his lucky, he’ll get his permanent stay but little else- as happened in ‘Yasmin’. Thankfully, most ‘mangethers’ do not meet such a fate.
There is a certain amount of snobbery inherent in the idea of ‘mangether’, as developed by British Mirpuris. It implies that those who don’t speak English and have not grown up steeped in western culture are somewhat inferior to those who have. Yet, as always with generalisations, reality is different. Many ‘Mangethers’ fit in very well here and do great, for example as businessmen. Others attend college, learn English and gain a skill.
My opinion is that a little humility is in place. In the greater scheme of things, it is only by a quirk of fate that my parents- and those of many other fellow British born Asians- ended up in the UK and those of mangethers did not.
