Disadvantages of having a stammer

Having a severe stammer is extremely disempowering. The feeling of powerlessness stems from being unable to say what we really want to say or to express our true feelings. People with speech problems devise a coping strategy, for example by using words with a particular type of sound which can be uttered with less hindrance. This limits our scope for expression. Our coping mechanism may hide the true extent of our speech problem, but may also give the impression of being inarticulate, unable to string a coherent sentence.

This self-imposed limitation of expression has practical consequences. At restaurants or take-ways, for example, I sometimes end up with ordering something that is second best but is easier to pronounce. Sometimes I end up with the wrong thing because I am reluctant to correct misunderstandings. In other contexts, I can give the impression of being unsocial, uncaring, cold or plain weird. It might be that I am all of these- the stammer has conditioned my personality.

Those who stammer may also be extra-vigilant against becoming embroiled in potentially contentious situations. I go out of my way to avoid arguments. Again, this can be disempowering- it means avoiding arguments even if I know I am right.

Job interviews are particularly gruelling experiences if you have a speech problem. Sometimes interviewers are taken aback, surprised, even embarrassed. Some hide it well; others try to pre-empt the word I am trying to say and say it for me. Whatever the reason, I am convinced that having a stammer puts me at a disadvantage. For most office-based jobs, ‘excellent verbal skills’ is an essential requirement. Whatever the policy about equal opportunities, I am sure the type of disability you have does matter. You could be in a wheel chair, but still be a confident orator. The gift of the gab can get you far…

For me, not being able to say what I want has been the most frustrating thing in my life. It has affected my very being. I have a lot to say- I am very articulate. Blogging is like a process of catharsis. I have had to sharpen my writing skills to compensate for the lack of speaking skills. I am glad that I have these writing skills.